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Magic Man's CornerDo Not Go Gentle into That Good Nightby supercomputer276 |
CHARACTERS (in order of appearance)
MAGIC MAN
ASTRO MAN
CLOWN MAN
COMMANDO MAN
SLASH MAN
GRENADE MAN
SCENE 1
INT – STAGE – DAY
Enter Magic Man carrying a poetry book.
MAGIC MAN
Hello and welcome to another installment of Magic Man's Corner. Tonight's poem is Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas.
He opens the book and flips to a page.
MAGIC MAN
(ahem) “Do not go gentle into that good night, old age should burn and rave at close of day...”
The stage lights start flickering.
MAGIC MAN
“Rage, rage against the dying of the light-” (notices) Huh?
Enter Astro Man.
ASTRO MAN
Oh dear, oh dear...
MAGIC MAN
Astro Man, what is wrong with the stage lights?
ASTRO MAN
We're not sure. We think Dynamo Man got into the generator room.
MAGIC MAN
Again? I'm in the middle of a performance! I cannot be interrupted!
ASTRO MAN
W-We'll handle it! Just keep going.
Exit Astro Man.
MAGIC MAN
(sighs) Well, the show must go on. (turns attention back to book) Let us continue. “Though wise men at their end know dark is right, because their words had forked no lightning they...”
Stage lights start sparking heavily.
MAGIC MAN
“...do not go gentle into that good night-”
Stage lights shoot lightning everywhere.
MAGIC MAN
(barely manages to leap out of the way) Whoa! What's going on back there?!
ASTRO MAN (offstage)
Clown Man, you're just making it worse!
CLOWN MAN (offstage)
Worse... or better?!
ASTRO MAN (offstage)
Worse. Definitely worse. (zap) BLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGIBLARGI-
CLOWN MAN (offstage)
No, I'm pretty sure it's better!
MAGIC MAN
(pause) ...“Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay...”
Enter Commando Man.
MAGIC MAN
“...rage, rage against the... dying of the... light...” ...Commando Man, you are dancing across my stage in a tutu.
COMMANDO MAN
I lost a bet, private.
Enter Clown Man's head sticking out from the wings.
CLOWN MAN
Hah! Magic Man's syntax implies that his stage is wearing a tutu!
Exit Clown Man and Commando Man.
MAGIC MAN
Distractions, distractions, these things sent to try us... Now, where was I...? Oh yes. “Wild man who caught and sang the sun in flight, and learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, do not go gentle into that good night.”
Hanging stage light crashes right next to Magic Man.
MAGIC MAN
(jumps away in surprise) What the-?!
He looks up to see Slash Man climbing in the rafters.
MAGIC MAN
Slash Man?! What are you doing up there?
SLASH MAN
Wily wanted me to get rid of these lights. Thinks the problem in the generator room corrupted them or something, wasn't paying attention. So that's what I'm doing.
MAGIC MAN
Well, don't! Those are the only lights on in the entire theater! The show must go on! Leave them alone!
SLASH MAN
But Wily said-
MAGIC MAN
Screw Wily! I'm working here! You can cut them down after I'm done with my reading! But for now, please! Leave!
SLASH MAN
Fine, fine, but don't complain to me.
Exit Slash Man.
MAGIC MAN
My apologies for the many disturbances, ladies and gentlemen. Let us continue. “Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight...”
The flickering stage lights start growing brighter.
MAGIC MAN
“...Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
The light's brightness approaches sun-level intensity with very loud buzzing.
ASTRO MAN (offstage)
Too much power! Too much power!
CLOWN MAN (offstage)
Astro, if there's anything I learned from Wily, it's this: you can never have too much power!
ASTRO MAN (offstage)
He wasn't talking about electricity!
CLOWN MAN (offstage)
Yeah, but I am!
MAGIC MAN
“And you, my father, there on the sad height, curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray, do not go gentle into that good night...”
All the stage lights burst, throwing the theater into pitch black, the only sound the tinkling of broken glass.
MAGIC MAN
...
Magic Man turns his eyelights on, making them the only thing visible in the dark.
MAGIC MAN
“...Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.” Thank you. This has been Magic Man's Corner. We hope you will join us again next time.
Enter Grenade Man with his eyelights on.
GRENADE MAN
I have been sent by Wily to light up this theater... with EXPLOSIVES! Actually, he didn't mention that last part; I made that up myself.
MAGIC MAN
(facepalm) What did I ever do to deserve this...?